one word: firstdatebathroomanal
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
