It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
