so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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