gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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