what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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