Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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