I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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