I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
