just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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