Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
