when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
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I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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