My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
