Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
