After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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