Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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