Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
