He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
