I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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