Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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