It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
