For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
