He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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