Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
