I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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