She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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