I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
