Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
