I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
