i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
