you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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