Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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