what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
