But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize