Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just blew my weed a kiss
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
