i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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