I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
