Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
