She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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