dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
