i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We named our party play list daddy issues
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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