yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
