Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
