so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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