South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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