I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
