All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we made out on top of his cat.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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