so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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