CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You dont lie about slip and slides
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
