drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
