Do you still have your period?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
