Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
