Is it because I queefed?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
