Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
