due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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