You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
