I need help removing her.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
