It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Boobs are out for the taking
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize