So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
