We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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