i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
smell my finger.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
