Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I cockslap morals
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
