the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
