Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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