Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
