I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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