Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
