we're chasing vodka with high fives
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
