Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i need an iv and a liver transplant
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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