i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Boobs speak an international language.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
