Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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